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हिन्दीManners and Etiquette (Adab) in Islam
In Arabic, adab means good manners, refinement and doing things in the right way. Islam has a great deal to say about it. The same Prophet ﷺ who taught the rules of prayer and fasting also taught how to greet, knock on a door, sit at a meal and speak to an elder. Muslims see these manners as worship: done for God’s sake, they earn reward. They are also the everyday face of good character in Islam.
Greeting with peace
The Muslim greeting is a prayer: as-salamu ‘alaykum, “peace be upon you”. When asked which deeds of Islam are best, the Prophet ﷺ said:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: A man asked the Prophet, "What Islamic traits are the best?" The Prophet said, "Feed the people, and greet those whom you know and those whom you do not know
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The Qur’an makes returning a greeting a duty, and asks for a better reply where possible:
وَإِذَا حُيِّيتُم بِتَحِيَّةٍۢ فَحَيُّوا۟ بِأَحْسَنَ مِنْهَآ أَوْ رُدُّوهَآ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىْءٍ حَسِيبًا ﴿٨٦﴾ And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner]. Indeed, Allah is ever, over all things, an Accountant.
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The Prophet ﷺ also taught who greets first: the young greet the old, the one walking greets the one sitting, and the smaller group greets the larger (Bukhari 6231). When two people have quarrelled, the better of them is the one who greets first (Bukhari 6237). Muslims are taught to be courteous in greeting everyone, Muslim or not.
Asking permission to enter
A home is a private sanctuary in Islam. No one, not even a relative, should walk in unannounced:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا تَدْخُلُوا۟ بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ حَتَّىٰ تَسْتَأْنِسُوا۟ وَتُسَلِّمُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَهْلِهَا ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ ﴿٢٧﴾ فَإِن لَّمْ تَجِدُوا۟ فِيهَآ أَحَدًۭا فَلَا تَدْخُلُوهَا حَتَّىٰ يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ ۖ وَإِن قِيلَ لَكُمُ ٱرْجِعُوا۟ فَٱرْجِعُوا۟ ۖ هُوَ أَزْكَىٰ لَكُمْ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ عَلِيمٌۭ ﴿٢٨﴾ 27O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants. That is best for you; perhaps you will be reminded. 28And if you do not find anyone therein, do not enter them until permission has been given you. And if it is said to you, "Go back," then go back; it is purer for you. And Allah is Knowing of what you do.
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The Prophet ﷺ taught that one asks permission up to three times, and if there is no answer one goes away without offence (Bukhari 6245). Even children within the household are taught to ask permission before entering their parents’ room at times of rest and privacy (Qur’an 24:58). Peering into someone’s home, reading their private letters or listening at doors all violate this adab. The same respect for privacy applies today to phones, messages and social media: reading someone’s messages without permission or sharing what they told you in confidence breaks the same trust.
At the table
Eating is a daily chance to remember God. A boy who was raised in the household of the Prophet ﷺ described what he was taught:
Narrated `Umar bin Abi Salama: I was a boy under the care of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and my hand used to go around the dish while I was eating. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, 'O boy! Mention the Name of Allah and eat with your right hand, and eat of the dish what is nearer to you." Since then I have applied those instructions when eating
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Muslims begin with bismillah, eat with the right hand, take from what is nearest, avoid waste and thank God at the end. The Prophet ﷺ never criticised food; if he liked it he ate it, and if not he left it (Bukhari 5409). Eating together, sharing and inviting others are encouraged — food is meant to bring people closer. Islam also asks Muslims to eat and drink without extravagance, and to remember the hungry while they are full.
Guarding the tongue
Islam treats words as deeds. The Qur’an forbids a whole list of everyday sins of speech in two verses:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌۭ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَكُونُوا۟ خَيْرًۭا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَآءٌۭ مِّن نِّسَآءٍ عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًۭا مِّنْهُنَّ ۖ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا۟ بِٱلْأَلْقَٰبِ ۖ بِئْسَ ٱلِٱسْمُ ٱلْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ ٱلْإِيمَٰنِ ۚ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّٰلِمُونَ ﴿١١﴾ يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱجْتَنِبُوا۟ كَثِيرًۭا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثْمٌۭ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًۭا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ ﴿١٢﴾ 11O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers. 12O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.
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Mockery, insulting nicknames, assuming the worst, spying and backbiting — speaking about someone in their absence in a way they would hate, even if it is true — are all forbidden. The Prophet ﷺ gave a simple rule that covers speech, neighbours and guests together:
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet. (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk)
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Lying, cursing and spreading rumours fall under the same rule. See Honesty in Islam.
Elders, the young, the sick and guests
Islamic manners give each person their due. When the people were slow to make room for an old man, the Prophet ﷺ said:
…He is not one of us who does not have mercy on our young and does not respect our elders…
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Elders are addressed respectfully, served first and consulted; children are treated with gentleness and play. Visiting the sick was commanded by the Prophet ﷺ alongside feeding the hungry and freeing captives (Bukhari 5649). Hospitality is part of faith: the guest is honoured generously on the first day and has a right to be hosted for three days (Bukhari 6019), and the Qur’an praises Abraham (peace be upon him) for hurrying to serve his unexpected guests a fine meal (Qur’an 51:24–27). See also The elderly in Islam.
Lowering the gaze and modesty
Modesty (haya’) is called a branch of faith (Bukhari 9). The Qur’an addresses men first, then women:
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ﴿٣٠﴾ وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ أَخَوَٰتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَٰنُهُنَّ أَوِ ٱلتَّٰبِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُو۟لِى ٱلْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ أَوِ ٱلطِّفْلِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا۟ عَلَىٰ عَوْرَٰتِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ ﴿٣١﴾ 30Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. 31And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.
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Lowering the gaze means not staring at what is forbidden and not looking at others with lust. Together with modest dress, respectful speech between men and women and avoiding immodest situations, it protects hearts, marriages and the dignity of everyone in society.
A common misunderstanding
Some imagine Islamic manners as a rigid code of rituals. In reality, some of these rules are obligations — like returning a greeting, not entering without permission, and avoiding backbiting — while many are recommended Sunnah practices that a Muslim follows out of love for the Prophet ﷺ. Their spirit is simple: respect for God’s presence, respect for other people and mercy in every small encounter.
Key takeaways
- Spreading the greeting of peace to people one knows and does not know is among the best deeds in Islam.
- Homes are private: one asks permission before entering and leaves if refused.
- Eating begins with God's name, with the right hand and from what is nearest, without complaining about food.
- Backbiting, mockery, insults and suspicion are forbidden; a believer speaks good or stays silent.
- Respecting elders, showing mercy to the young, visiting the sick, honouring guests and lowering the gaze are part of faith.
